Divorce later in life is not an uncommon phenomenon in the United States, according to recent studies. Indeed, many of these marriages last one, two or even three decades before the spouses decide to call it quits. What is left is often two middle aged people who are getting back into the dating scene after being off the market since their 20s or 30s.
Pressures after divorce are different for men than women. In fact, a study conducted by AARP notes that as much as 66 percent of divorces are initiated by the wife and often the husband is blindsided. For the suddenly single the change is often abrupt when it comes to finances, emotions, and work-life balance. If you are newly single due to a divorce and are trying to figure out the dating scene, know that you are not alone. Below are several tips that can help you steer your love life back on track:
- Know You Aren’t the Only One with Baggage: like most others over the age of 50, it is not uncommon to have baggage, whether it be financial, emotional, family or other issues. While others may have “stuff” they are dealing with, make sure who you date has only baggage, and nothing more than you can handle.
- Don’t Go Into All the Details of Your Break-Up: while you can talk to your new love about your past, it is wise not to go into all the sordid specifics about the divorce – if you want to keep the chemistry going and maintain your sanity in your relationship by focusing on your new love interest.
- Be Honest About Your Emotions: anger, feelings of worthlessness, shattered self-image and self-blame may come with a recently broken marriage. These emotions, while natural to experience, must be dealt with prior to getting back into the dating game. Coming clean about these emotions – whether in a support group, through professional counseling or with friends – is essential for your mental health.
- Make Sure You Have Friends: losing friends and relatives as a result of a marriage breakup does happen, however, that does not mean you have to be alone. Reach out to old friends or make new ones who are separate and apart from dating so that you have a circle of friends with whom to share company.
- Work On Being Healthy & Happy: it is not uncommon for years of marriage to make a spouse complacent when it comes to weight, health, personal care and even wardrobe. Take the time for yourself to focus on feeling strong, attractive and fashionable – for you, and no one else.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions: being off the market for so long can easily bring about pre-date anxiety. Ask some of your single friends for dating advice, read up on the latest dating trends or even look for books that can help ease the transition from marriage to singledom.
If you or someone you know is facing divorce at any age, contact a compassionate yet aggressive Brooklyn divorce attorney to learn about your rights and obligations under the law. With decades of experience serving families in Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, Manhattan and Long Island, these legal professionals will advocate on your behalf. Click here or call (718)-233-2903 today to schedule your initial case evaluation.
