Recent divorcees don’t have to feel anxious, believing they have irreparably and negatively affected the child/children . Although divorce can result in big changes for the entire family, in the end, the quality of life that is experienced in the aftermath will have a much more lasting effect. Thankfully, this is an ongoing process that is in the hands of the adults working through this chapter of life. Below are some ideas on how to help ease children into the changes to surely come after a divorce.

  1. Determine a Routine – even if this is different in each parent’s household, a set and consistent way in which things are done will ease the transition for the child.
  2. Be Understanding – change isn’t easy, especially for children of divorced parents. Take a deep breath and work through the transition together.
  3. Call Everyday – maintaining the “status quo” is vital during a life-changing event and, as such, speaking with your child on a daily basis – whether he/she is staying in your home or not – will be key.
  4. Keep a United Front – ex-spouses don’t have to like one another, but they do need to be on the same page so that fewer conflicts arise and the child is under less stress.
  5. Establish rules and procedures – having firmly set guidelines that are applicable across households will not only bring stability to the child/children involved but also will keep the former spouses accountable.
  6. Maintain the Lines of Communication Open – while it may be tempting, using a child as a messenger or reporter is not in his or her best interest. Instead, the lines of communication between the former spouses must be kept open as well as separate and apart from the children.
  7. Find Community – because going from a two-parent home to a one-parent home can have major changes for both the parent and the child, finding a support system that will alleviate the need to do it all will be healthy for everyone.
  8. Spend Quality Time – take the focus off of the failed relationship and keep your eyes on the prize by spending time, and enjoying, your child/children.
  9. Reassurance with Love – while this may sound obvious, simply reassuring a child that he/she is loved by you and that love hasn’t wavered despite the change in family circumstances is a powerful message.
  10. Honesty is Key – children are receptive and understand much more than we give them credit for. Be truthful about what is going to happen, without having to go into specific details as to the reasons.

Call a New York Child Custody Attorney

If you or someone you know is facing divorce, contact an experienced New York City child custody attorney to learn about your rights and responsibilities under New York law. Divorce can be stressful and complicated – compassionate legal assistance is available. With years of family law experience, the attorneys at the offices of Alatsas Law Firm have guided clients during this difficult, yet important, time. Schedule an initial consultation by calling (718)-233-2903 or filling out an online contact form today.

Ted Alatsas
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Trusted Brooklyn, New York Family Law Attorney helping NY residents with Elder Law and Asset Protection
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