Someone you love died. Somewhere in the will, or in a conversation you barely remember, you were named the executor.
And now you're sitting with a stack of mail, a phone full of condolence texts, and a question that keeps circling: where do I even start?
That feeling is normal. After thirty years of sitting across the desk from Brooklyn families in exactly this moment, I can tell you the confusion passes once you have a map. The grief takes its own time. The paperwork doesn't have to.
Here are the three things I want you to take from this article before we get into the checklist:
1. Your first job is regaining the ability to act. The estate stays frozen until the court gives you authority, so the early steps are about unlocking that authority.
2. The clock matters more than perfection. New York probate commonly runs 8 months to 2 years, and delay on your end stretches it further while bills keep arriving.
3. Help gets paid from the estate. Reasonable attorney fees come out of the estate itself, so you're never personally funding the professional guidance you need. This is commonly overlooked, and it removes the biggest reason people struggle alone.
Now let's walk through the checklist, step by step, in the order that actually works in New York.
Phase One: The First Two Weeks
Step 1: Order more death certificates than you think you need
Every bank, insurance company, and government agency wants its own certified copy. Order ten from the funeral home or the city.
Running out mid-process means waiting weeks for reorders while accounts sit locked. Ordering extra now saves you that stall later.
Step 2: Secure the home and the property
Lock the house. Collect the mail, or forward it to your address. Move valuables somewhere safe and make a simple written note of what you moved and where.
You're responsible for these assets now, even before the court makes it official. If family members start taking items "as keepsakes" before the will is probated, you inherit the conflict that follows. A gentle boundary today prevents a painful dispute later.
💡 Tip: Keep the utilities and homeowners insurance active. An empty, uninsured house is one of the most expensive mistakes an estate can make.
Step 3: Find the original will
The Surrogate's Court wants the original document, with the actual signatures. A photocopy creates real complications.
Check the home safe, the filing cabinet, and the safe deposit box. Call the attorney who drafted it, because many firms hold originals for their clients. Ours does.
Step 4: Do nothing with the money yet
This step surprises people. You have no legal authority to move funds, sell property, or pay beneficiaries until the court appoints you.
Paying bills from your own pocket, or from the deceased's accounts, before you have authority creates messes that take months to untangle. Keep a list of what needs paying. Hold the list.
Phase Two: Opening the Estate in Surrogate's Court
Step 5: File the probate petition in the right county
You file in the Surrogate's Court of the county where the person lived. For a Sheepshead Bay resident, that's Kings County. The petition includes the original will, a certified death certificate, and a filing fee based on estate size, ranging from $45 to $1,250.
New York sets no deadline for filing. Waiting still carries risk, because mortgages keep accruing and assets stay out of reach the entire time.
One helpful shortcut worth knowing: if the estate holds less than $50,000 and any real estate is jointly owned, you can use voluntary administration instead. It requires one court filing and moves much faster. Ask about it before assuming you need full probate.
Step 6: Notify everyone the law requires
Every person who would have inherited without a will, called the distributees, must receive formal notice. They either sign a waiver and consent or receive a citation to appear.
Here's the part I've watched trip up families for three decades. The difficulty of your probate depends heavily on whether these people are reachable and cooperating. A missing cousin or an estranged sibling adds months. Start locating people early, and keep the tone warm. The relationships you protect now determine how the next year feels.
Step 7: Receive your Letters Testamentary
This document is your legal authority. Banks honor it. Brokerages honor it. Nothing meaningful happens without it.
Obtaining Letters Testamentary takes a couple of months when nothing is contested, and a year or longer when someone challenges the will. Kings and Queens counties carry heavy caseloads, so build backlog time into your expectations.
⚠️ Important: If the estate holds real estate with pressing costs, ask about preliminary letters. They grant you the power to manage assets and pay property taxes while the full petition is still pending. Executors rarely know this tool exists, and it prevents real financial damage.
Phase Three: Administering the Estate
Step 8: Open an estate bank account and get a tax ID
Apply for an EIN from the IRS, then open a dedicated estate account. Every dollar in and every dollar out flows through this account.
Never mix estate money with your own. Clean records protect you personally, and they protect the trust your family has placed in you.
Step 9: Inventory everything
Bank accounts, retirement funds, the house, the car, life insurance, outstanding debts. Build the complete picture.
An executor who lacks a full view of the assets slows the entire process, and beneficiaries waiting on inheritances start filling the silence with suspicion. Thoroughness here is how you keep the family united.
Step 10: Respect the creditor window
Creditors get seven months from the date the court issues your letters to file claims against the estate. This window is why New York probate carries a statutory minimum of roughly seven months even in the smoothest cases.
Distributing money to beneficiaries before this window closes exposes you personally if a valid claim surfaces afterward. Patience here is self-protection.
Step 11: Pay debts, file taxes, then distribute
The order matters. Funeral costs and administration expenses come first, then debts, then taxes, then beneficiaries. Reversing that order creates personal liability for you.
And a note many family executors never hear: you're entitled to compensation for this work. New York law sets executor commissions between 2% and 5% of the estate's value. Whether you take it is your choice. Knowing the option exists matters.
What This Checklist Actually Buys You
I've watched hundreds of families move through this process. The pattern holds every time. The executor who acts early, keeps clean records, and communicates openly with siblings finishes in months. The executor who freezes, or improvises, spends years untangling what a few organized weeks would have prevented.
You didn't ask for this role. You're doing it while grieving, which makes every task heavier than it looks on paper. Acknowledge that weight, and then take the next small step anyway. The steps are manageable once they're in order, and you've now seen the whole map.
If you're serving as an executor in Brooklyn, Queens, or Staten Island and something on this list feels unclear, bring your questions to an estate attorney before the confusion compounds. The consultation fee comes from the estate, the clarity comes fast, and your family gets you back sooner.
Print this checklist, share it with your siblings, and make the first call this week.
