When my neighbor Maria called me last year, her voice was shaking. Her father had just passed away, and she'd been named executor of his estate. "Ted," she said, "I thought I was honoring my dad by accepting this role. Now I'm terrified I'm going to mess everything up and let him down."
Maria's fear is something I hear all the time. Being named executor of someone's estate is both an honor and an enormous responsibility. The person who chose you trusted you enough to manage their final wishes, but that doesn't automatically mean you'll know how to navigate the complex probate process without making costly mistakes.
Let me share something that might surprise you: even well-intentioned executors make errors that can expose them to personal liability, delay distributions to beneficiaries, and create family conflicts that last for years. After nearly 30 years practicing estate law in Brooklyn, I've seen these mistakes happen across all types of families, regardless of their background or the estate's size.
The good news? Most executor mistakes are completely avoidable when you understand what they are and how to prevent them.
Mixing Estate Funds with Personal Money
This is perhaps the most dangerous mistake an executor can make, and it happens more often than you'd think. When you're managing your late parent's estate while juggling your own bills, it can seem harmless to use the estate checking account temporarily or deposit estate checks into your personal account "just this once."
Don't do it.
Commingling funds—mixing estate assets with your personal money—is a serious breach of your fiduciary duty. Even if you have the best intentions and plan to pay everything back, this mistake can result in personal liability and even removal as executor. Beneficiaries may suspect you're stealing from the estate, and once that trust is broken, it's nearly impossible to rebuild.
The solution is simple: open a dedicated estate bank account immediately and keep meticulous records of every deposit and withdrawal. Every transaction should be traceable and documented.
Paying Bills in the Wrong Order
Not all debts are created equal when it comes to estates. New York law establishes a specific priority for paying creditors, and getting this wrong can make you personally responsible for the shortfall.
Generally, estate expenses (like funeral costs and administration fees) and taxes take priority over general creditors. If you pay your loved one's credit card bill before settling estate taxes, and there isn't enough money left to cover those taxes, guess who might be on the hook? That's right—you.
Before distributing any assets to beneficiaries, make sure you've identified all legitimate debts, determined the proper payment order, and set aside sufficient funds to cover priority obligations. This is one area where consulting with an estate attorney isn't just helpful—it's essential.
Distributing Assets Too Quickly
I understand the pressure executors feel to "just get it done." Beneficiaries may be calling constantly, asking when they'll receive their inheritance. Family members might express frustration with how long everything takes. But rushing to distribute assets before all debts are settled and all creditors are notified is a recipe for disaster.
In New York, creditors typically have seven months from the date you're appointed executor to file claims against the estate. If you distribute assets before this period ends and a valid claim comes in later, you could be personally responsible for paying it.
The probate process has built-in timelines for good reasons. Patience during this phase protects both the estate and you as executor.
Failing to Communicate with Beneficiaries
Silence breeds suspicion. When beneficiaries don't hear from you for months, they start imagining the worst. Are you stealing from the estate? Are you playing favorites? Have you forgotten about them entirely?
Regular communication doesn't have to be complicated. Even a simple email every few weeks updating beneficiaries on your progress—"I've filed the initial probate paperwork and am waiting for the court date" or "I'm in the process of getting the house appraised"—goes a long way toward preventing conflict.
In New York, executors have a legal obligation to provide a formal accounting of the estate's income, expenses, and distributions. But you don't have to wait until the formal accounting is due to keep people informed. Transparency builds trust and makes your job easier.
Not Securing Estate Assets
One of your first duties as executor is to protect the deceased's property. This means changing locks on real estate, ensuring adequate insurance coverage, securing valuable items, and maintaining properties so they don't deteriorate.
I've seen executors who left a house sitting empty for months without proper insurance, only to face a claim when pipes burst during winter. Others failed to secure jewelry or collectibles, and items went missing before beneficiaries could receive their inheritance.
Take inventory of all assets immediately, photograph valuable items, secure the property, and make sure insurance coverage is adequate. If the estate includes a business or rental property, you'll need to ensure those continue operating properly or be sold according to the will's instructions.
Ignoring Professional Help
Some executors try to save money by handling everything themselves, even when the estate is complex or they're unfamiliar with probate law. This penny-wise, pound-foolish approach often costs the estate far more in the long run when mistakes happen.
You don't need to know everything about estate administration—that's what professionals are for. At Alatsas Law Firm, we've helped countless executors navigate the probate process, avoid common pitfalls, and fulfill their duties properly. The cost of professional guidance is typically far less than the cost of fixing mistakes.
Remember, estate administration fees (including reasonable attorney fees) are paid from the estate itself, not from your personal funds. Getting professional help protects both you and the beneficiaries.
Moving Forward with Confidence
Being named executor is a significant responsibility, but it doesn't have to be overwhelming. Understanding these common mistakes is your first line of defense against making them yourself.
If you've been named executor of an estate—or if you're creating an estate plan and want to ensure your chosen executor has the support they'll need—professional guidance makes all the difference. The families I've worked with in Brooklyn, Queens, and Staten Island appreciate having an experienced attorney who understands both the legal requirements and the emotional complexity of estate administration.
Don't let fear of making mistakes prevent you from honoring your loved one's final wishes. With the right knowledge, proper procedures, and professional support when needed, you can fulfill your duties as executor with confidence.
Have you been named executor and aren't sure where to start? Reach out to discuss your specific situation. After nearly three decades helping Brooklyn families navigate estate administration, I've likely encountered circumstances similar to yours—and I'm here to help.
