Depending on how things are handled, a divorce can go smoothly or be quite difficult even with the very best New York City divorce lawyer on your side. When you want the former, there are some things you must avoid doing because they cause the divorce proceedings to drag on for months or even worse – years.

For the quickest and most painless divorce possible, here are 10 examples of what NOT to do in a divorce.

1. Don’t Make Assumptions About Your Ex or Legal Team

If this is the first time you’ve gone through divorce proceedings, you may make assumptions about how the process will go. But during a divorce, you can’t assume that your ex has your best interests in mind or that your New York City divorce attorney has all the information he/she needs to best pursue your case. Know your rights and base your actions on facts, not assumptions.

2. Don’t Fail to Communicate Thoroughly

Many mistaken assumptions and misunderstandings can be cleared up with open lines of communication. Unless your marriage is abusive, communicate with your ex during the divorce in a civil and respectful way.

3. Don’t Blame Your Ex

In some divorces, the bulk of the blame rests on the shoulders of one spouse more than the other. But even if this occurs, avoid blaming your ex for the divorce because it makes divorces harder whether the claim is true or false. This is a prime example of what NOT to do in a divorce.

4. Don’t Try to Handle Your Divorce Alone

Divorces are complex legal endeavors, and they’re not something you should have to face alone. Even if you have an uncontested divorce, you need the help of divorce lawyers in Brooklyn to handle underlying issues that become contentious and irreconcilable.

5. Don’t Cause Extra Drama

There’s plenty of drama already involved in a divorce, so don’t add any more. Therefore, don’t get a DUI or into other legal trouble, don’t get pregnant or impregnate someone else, and don’t flaunt your newly single status all over social media while going through a divorce.

6. Don’t Send Nasty Communications to Your Ex

Emotions run high in a divorce, and it’s hard to bite your tongue if you’ve been hurt or wronged. However, avoid sending nasty texts, emails, or voicemails to your ex because they could be used against you in court.

7. Don’t Use Your Children to Punish Your Ex

Divorce is often hard on children, so don’t make it harder by putting children between you and your former spouse. Never use your children to punish or manipulate your ex because this will harm your own relationship with your kids.

8. Don’t Lie to Your Attorney

To best pursue your case, your attorney needs all the facts and all the truth. Don’t withhold information from your New York City divorce lawyer because it could be unexpected revealed in the litigation process and devastate your outcome.

9. Don’t Take on Extra Debt

A common mistake that many people make it spending a lot of money and going into debt during a divorce, thinking that the debt will be shared equally between spouses. This is often not the case and could ruin you financially after the divorce is over.

10. Don’t Write Off the Possibility of Negotiating

Many couples will instantly write off the possibilities of mediation and arbitration if they can’t agree on every issue, thinking they must go to court and battle them out before a judge. However, it’s always better for both parties to negotiate as much as possible, and meditation and arbitration are great ways to make your divorce less lengthy and expensive. A mediator or arbitrator can help a couple decide on many important issues, including asset division and child custody.

Ted Alatsas
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Brooklyn, New York Trial Attorney Practicing Family Law, Elder Law, Asset Protection and Bankruptcy Claims
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